Comparisons

Originally posted on family blog, 1/2/13
".....We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does." -President Uchdorf Click HERE to read the entire talk. 

This quote has stayed with me since I heard it a while back. I find it really hard to not compare myself to those around me. It has gotten much worse for me since living in Utah. Living around so many stay at home Mormon moms tends to mess me up. Don't get me wrong, I do love where I live but it can be hard at times. Living in California I wasn't as "common". I could be me without worrying so much about those around me. Now I find myself looking at all those around me and comparing myself. I feel like I am not a great mom if I am not doing everything my neighbors and friends are for their kids, if I haven't run a marathon I am out of shape and fat, if my front yard isn't perfect it means we are lazy and so on. Problem is most of this tends to be in my head and not what people actually think..... I hope! 

Since hearing this quote I have been trying so hard to stop comparing myself with others so much. For example, for a long time I have tried to make myself into a runner. Everyone up here runs and I know many women who have run marathons. So for a while I thought in order to fit in I needed to be a runner, even though I hate it. I have actually done three 5K races, the first I was barely recovered from a horrible flu so I walked most of it, the second was great, I felt very accomplished and proud of myself and the last was the Color Run so purely for the fun of it. So after having done these I decided that while I loved feeling accomplished I can get that feeling from something I really enjoy and I don't need to feel bad if I don't enjoy running. I still exercise a ton but just not running. 

Another example is comparing myself to moms of much older children. I am pretty much the youngest mom in my ward and I tend to compare what I am doing to moms whose kids are teenagers. Of course they have more time to get things done then me with my three young kids. Of course their house is going to look pretty and not have crayon on the walls and toys on the floor. But for so long I have felt like I need to keep up with them. I am learning to give myself a break. Not completely let things go and live like a slob but just understand that now is not the time to have a perfect house. I don't have the time, money or energy! I would much rather spend time playing with the kids then be stressing about scrubbing baseboards. 

We all have things we are good at and things we struggle with. It doesn't mean we are any less of a person if we cannot do everything that others do. Some people are crafty, some are super fit, some are great cooks etc. Let's all try to be happy with who we are and not judge or compare!